better person

i've learnt and thinking a lot lately. academically (of course! hospital...) as well as finding my true self. honestly, im still terumbang ambing dalam mencari jati diri.. jati diri for me is my principles in life. my principles as a student, a muslim, a daughter, a friend and etc.

and i think im no good in any of that. im neither a good student, nor a good muslim, and even not a good daughter... because i make mistakes everyday as being one..

im not a good muslim when i dunno how to answer simple questions about islam. i may know the answers, but dunno what's the best answer of all. but now, im trying to be better when im looking for the best answers to prepare myself if im being asked again later. im not a good muslim when i was shy to be different from everyone else in the operation theatre.. but now, im proud to be different. we have our prinsip and we need to know exactly what our principles are and stick with it.

when you know u're bad in some ways and things, do try to make it better and better. insyaAllah in times, you will be a better person.

sometimes, i feel down and hopeless..
yes. i have friends and people around me. and im grateful to have them with me. to remind me about everything.

but they are not enough. because in some ways, they don't really understand me. they don't really know what's hiding deep inside me. only Allah knows. that's why sometimes i need to be alone. just me and Him. tenang.. and fitrah manusia, no matter how far u go, in the end, u will return to ur 'homeland'. tempat asal manusia and particularly muslim, is Allah.

kite semua akan buat salah everyday and we regretted it. and Allah's always there, waiting, to listen to us. so, talk to Him. He will never disappoint you.

lets find our principles and improve ourselves everyday to be a someone that better than yesterdays..